Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath
James 1:19

Who are the difficult people in your life?

It might be the clerk at the store you shop at.

The guy or girl at the post office.

Your doctor.

Your boss.

Someone in your church.

Your teenager.

Or even your spouse.

This morning we are going to talk about how difficult people can affect us and what we can do to handle these situations.

 

After all, it only takes a moment to loose your Christian testimony.

 

There are no real specifics in the word of God about running into a mean bank teller for example. There are many principles in the word of God that can help us in these situations.These situations generally come upon us without warning and before we know it we are in some kind of argument saying things that we don’t want to say.

 

A friend of mine used to say “If you argue with a fool those that are looking on won’t be able to tell which is which.”

 

So this morning we are going to take a bit of a look at how King Saul was being difficult with David because he was jealous of him.The people had begun to speak well of David more than they did of Saul, and Saul didn’t like it.

Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 

1 Samuel 18:8

 

Saul was becoming insecure and most insecure people are difficult to deal with. David was only doing what he was asked to do. In fact Saul tried to kill David a few times. How did David handle it?

 

First

 

He prayed.

Then David said, “O LORD God of Israel, Your servant has certainly heard that Saul seeks to come to Keilah to destroy the city for my sake. Will the men of Keilah deliver me into his hand? Will Saul come down, as Your servant has heard? O LORD God of Israel, I pray, tell Your servant.” And the LORD said, “He will come down.”

1 Samuel 23:10-11

A prayer always limits the surprises.

If you are not taken by surprise you have a better chance of reacting in a kind and gentle way. Just the way our Lord would have us to do.

Secondly

 

David knew God views on revenge.

 

So he came to the sheepfolds by the road, where there was a cave; and Saul went in to attend to his needs. (David and his men were staying in the recesses of the cave.) Then the men of David said to him, “This is the day of which the LORD said to you, ‘Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hand, that you may do to him as it seems good to you.’” And David arose and secretly cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Now it happened afterward that David’s heart troubled him because he had cut Saul’s robe. And he said to his men, “The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD.” 

1 Samuel 24:3-6

 

Therefore let the LORD be judge, and judge between you and me, and see and plead my case, and deliver me out of your hand.” 

1 Samuel 24:15

David was willing to let God decide who was right or wrong.

 

Illustration from RBC ministries

A soldier was astonished when he heard General Robert E. Lee speak in complimentary terms about a fellow officer. "General," he said, "do you know that the man you spoke so highly of is one of your worst enemies, and that he misses no opportunity to slander you?"

"Yes," said the General, "but I was asked for my opinion of him, not his of me."

 

 

Lee's kindness is an inspiring illustration of returning good for evil. Now, I realize that's not an easy thing to do. In fact, it sometimes seems impossible. That's why we need to listen to what Jesus said about praying for our enemies (Mt. 5:44). If we obey our Savior in this—that is, if we spend time talking to our heavenly Father about those who treat us badly—it will be much easier to love them and to speak well of them. It would be inconsistent and even unthinkable to mistreat someone we have just remembered in prayer.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend." 

 

With God's help, therefore, let us love our foes, bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. Like our Lord, let's be ready to return good for evil—even to our enemies.  — Richard De Haan

When wrongs to me from others come,
From truth let me not stray;
May I love those who persecute,
And for them ever pray. —Bosch

 

Returning good for good is commendable

Returning good for evil is Christ like.

 

Robert E Lee was living life on his own terms.

 

We have to be people of action not people of reaction.

WHEN WE TALK ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE WE SAY THAT WE HOPE THAT THEY DON’T BOW TO PEER PRESSURE.

When we treat difficult people the way they treat us we are bowing to peer pressure. We are being pressured to be just like them.

David handled the Saul situation very well but then another situation came up and it was a different story.

 

Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb.
When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep, David sent ten young men; and David said to the young men, “Go up to Carmel, go to Nabal, and greet him in my name. And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: ‘Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all that you have! Now I have heard that you have shearers. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them, nor was there anything missing from them all the while they were in Carmel. Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.’”
So when David’s young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in the name of David, and waited.
Then Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master.  Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?”
So David’s young men turned on their heels and went back; and they came and told him all these words.  Then David said to his men, “Every man gird on his sword.” So every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies.
 Now one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, “Look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master; and he reviled them.  But the men were very good to us, and we were not hurt, nor did we miss anything as long as we accompanied them, when we were in the fields.  They were a wall to us both by night and day, all the time we were with them keeping the sheep.  Now therefore, know and consider what you will do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his household. For he is such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him.”
Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep already dressed, five seahs of roasted grain, one hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys.  And she said to her servants, “Go on before me; see, I am coming after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
 So it was, as she rode on the donkey that she went down under cover of the hill; and there were David and his men, coming down toward her, and she met them.  Now David had said, “Surely in vain I have protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belongs to him. And he has repaid me evil for good. May God do so, and more also, to the enemies of David, if I leave one male of all who belong to him by morning light.”
 Now when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground.  So she fell at his feet and said: “On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him! But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. 

1 Samuel 25:2-25

 

He lost his temper and was going to kill everyone.

 

The same man; two situations and two different reactions.

 

We all can get caught off guard. How will I avoid these pitfalls? I believe that we can find the answers in the scripture that we read first.

 

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 

James 1:19-20

 

Listen to people, you might hear their heart. We might get a clue as to what makes them tick.

We might hear what hurts they have that makes them the way they are.

 

Be slow to speak and think before you talk.

 

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression 

Proverbs 19:11

 

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

We have the tools to be what God wants us to be.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 

Romans 8:5

 

We have to remember that God loves the difficult ones the same as He loves everyone else. 

 

We are fishers of men according to what Christ said and therefore the bait must be right. They must want what we have. They must be drawn.

Let us be the gentle and Christ-like people that God wants us to be.